2013 New Year’s Eve – Forever Alone Mode

Red Ribbon's - Ultimate Chocolate Cake

Red Ribbon’s – Ultimate Chocolate Cake

It was 5 hours before the clock strikes 12 midnight for the end of 2012 and beginning of 2013. I was reformatting and cleaning my very first PC. I was really excited to eat the Ultimate Chocolate Cake I bought from Red Ribbon. My mom and brothers insisted me not to eat it till the countdown was over.

Everyone was enjoying outside as I do some work before the year end. I remember the 2008 New Year when I was doing the same for this blog, doing my first public blog post. I wanted a dramatic start for my blog that time.

Every year I step outside and do some fire crackers, eat up or drink some alcohol. Our family cook lots of food and share with the neighbors. After the countdown, we eat again together even while eating on the wait. We are a typical Filipino family who celebrates with a bang even on simple ways. But this year felt a little different. I was treating the New Years Eve celebration an ordinary night. I felt sleepy and not really excited.

I finally installed all the necessary programs and decided to download old school games from torrent. I thought I will just stick my face on Facebook or just drool some stuff online, but I wasn’t really in the mood. I open an old game from the laptop when I notice its 11:30pm. So I decided to clean up.

As I get ready to bathe, I felt the wind so cold and eyes really heavy. The people are outside the house while I’m half naked wanting to do some shower. Perhaps I was really full from eating the foods that was just behind me while doing stuffs on my computer. My laziness lets me walk in the bedroom and lie down and sleep. The countdown started and my mom was waking me up to join the party outside. They maxed out the volume on the TV and stereo, and really aim to disturb me with horns. But it didn’t bother me because I was really sleeping.

In a short while, it was getting a little peaceful. They turned off the sound system and TV, and I thought I’d completely wake up and just eat the chocolate cake in the morning. Until I hear my mom inviting some people to eat. I felt odd because it was normally only our family who eats after the countdown.

Then I was a little bothered, my Ultimate Chocolate Cake is in danger. And this woke up my sleeping mind. I was looking from my bed and didn’t see the cake on the table yet. So I was hoping that it will be safe only for our family. Until I heard more and more people coming in. I was surprised all our neighbors are invited by my mom to join the mini feast in our dining.

I was shy to go out because I’m half naked. And I was hoping nobody would take out the cake from the fridge. Until I heard my brother talking about it. I was like ” Oh No!!”.

Acting sleepy, my mom was asking my permission to take out the cake. It was hard for me to allow her, but I just said for her to do what she wants. I was crushing myself on the bed while I hear them enjoying the meal, especially the cake. I really can’t imagine that there will be a left over from the number of that people and kids. But as I felt the sorrow in the beginning of 2013, I realize a lot.

First of all, I am not selfish freak to worry about sharing the cake. But I was hoping to eat at least 30% of it. I wanted to enjoy my last cheat food because I was on the weight loss program. Lesson learned, Giving my self some exemption for the not doing what I’m suppose to do stops at the strike of 2013. If I really want to lose weight, I should really control what I eat. Losing that cake for neighbors is a good way for me to realize what I was doing wrong and destiny is helping me.

Next, I have been wanting to give without asking for anything in return. For as we know, God gives back more of what you give. This generosity issue is just one venture I wanted to improve, not because I know God will repay me, but because it really feels so great to be a giver.

Through the years I was growing up wanting to look my best in front of people. To be appreciated with the things I do. But this New Years Celebration I was half naked with nothing in me but feeling sorrow. But I was proud seeing people appreciate my mom for her feast. Even if it was making me want to cry for losing that chocolate cake that came from my pocket. The center of attention cake might be my doing and I was not accounted for it, but its always the simplest thing I see other people happy.

It made me look and feel alone, but I guess it was just me staying away. I really thank our ever giving God for all the blessings and my family for being there even I’m grumpy. So this year will not be a year for improvement, but make it a year for changes.

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